Mastodon Kuan0: "Old fingers": digital exclusion, accessibility

Saturday 25 June 2022

"Old fingers": digital exclusion, accessibility

Song with serious message: tablets, smartphones & other touchscreens have built-in accessibility & usability issues. This is a real problem as we'll all get old eventually (& it's not just the elderly who may suffer from "zombie fingers"): see research; some user solutions are possible, but designing for lower skin conductivity would be ideal.

The lyrics below are original to me, but I don't provide any video of them being sung or indeed any backing music, to avoid any copyright issues (despite the parody exception). This seems to be the official YouTube video, so James Bond/Shirley Bassey fans please feel free to sing along!

Old fingers
Touchscreens weren’t designed for skin that’s dry
I want to cry!
Why?! my old fingers
Can’t control the same touchscreen anymore
Like once before?
And I press and I swipe all in vain
And I curse and I try it again
But a thousand times, won’t make a difference
It’s their **** design, conceived for
Young fingers
Supple skin, conducting the signals in
With no chagrin
You can press, you can swipe all in vain
You can curse and just try it again
Try a thousand times, won’t make a difference
It’s their **** design that beats my
Old fingers
Gaming gloves, or wet them, is what I’m told
Too bad you’re old
Can’t stop getting old
Getting old
We’ll be old
Who cares ‘bout the old
You'll be old
Just be old!